As a Single Christian Woman, you might be confused about what the difference is between dating and courting. Actually Courtship is the period of development towards an intimate relationship wherein a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement, followed by a marriage. – Wikipedia.com.What is the difference to dating? In my opinion, it’s the intention behind it – marriage.
But nowadays, some couples date just to add a sense of glamour to a boring life, rather than to get married. Courtship should continue until both parties feel they have observed enough of each other and are ready to build a marriage relationship.
It’s like they are dating, but with a purpose. And that’s what Christians are called to do.
However, dating for purpose is still a relatively new concept for some people, so I decided to share with you today the 5 steps to dating for Purpose, some Christian dating advice.
1.Serve a common (greater) purpose for the relationship
In Genesis 2, God introduces Eve for the first time, but not until he has given Adam a job---A sense of purpose. And once he introduces Eve, he actually gives her not the same, not a different one but a complementary purpose to Adam’s.
Believe it or not, we were all born with a very unique purpose.The beauty of your purpose is that in the process of accomplishing your purpose, there may be hardship and pain.But God will send people to join your team - brothers and sisters in Christ that feel led to support, encourage or guide you.You're not alone in the fight, so he'll give you a husband with a vision that complements yours.
For purposeful dating, your partner should have a common or complementary view of the things you hold the opinions on the world. It could be something as small as being part of a church worship team or using your musical talents to bring glory to God. Or it could be something big like pointing young adults to Christ, by building a ministry around the struggles this group faces. Whatever it is, your boyfriend and you should discuss your personal goals and goals to see if they are really a good fit. That way you can make sure that you can steer each other toward it, not away from it.
2.communicate your goals for the relationship
Basically, the most important thing for a couple is to have a date with a purpose. It's important to take the time to sit down with your man and ask him what your goals are. You can discuss topics such as personal purpose, the individual, future plans, marriage, and family.
Of course, these topics don't have to be implemented right away, but can be carried out as you get into a closer relationship. But they will help you get an idea of his level of commitment and whether he is ready for a long-term relationship or marriage.Clearly communicating your goals will help you determine if you are interested in the same thing. It's a way of checking up on each other to see if you're on the same wavelength.If in the process of communication, you find that your goals may be too different, diverge a lot, then you can get out of it in time, you don't have to waste a lot of time and energy to get along with him. It will also help you hold each other accountable and reduce the risk to get stuck in a situation ship.
3.Be intentional in the relationship
Number two we talked about the need to communicate and set goals for maintaining the relationship. Because setting goals is what allows you to be (more) intentional in your relationship.So number three is how to intentionally date. After you communicate with each other, you already have a good understanding of him, you will have a plan to go through the various stages of love.
You will enjoy each other's company, but at the same time you will develop a relationship intentionally.You begin to integrate your lives, meet with each other's families, and get help from the Wise Council.Your goal should be to learn more about him by observing his needs, understanding his personality, and recognizing his love language (highly recommended).You can also discuss what he thinks are healthy and unhealthy relationships and agree on how to communicate with him.Finally, you can take intentional steps to grow together and encourage each other to date with purpose.
Being intentional of your life is what makes the difference between dating and courting.
I believe that setting boundaries is the first way to motivate a man to commit.
Even if it's not always the case, setting boundaries is my most common advice for Christian relationship, because it helps protect your heart. When you set boundaries, you can take control of your emotional, physical, and financial investments in your emotions and learn to give as you get, rather than strain yourself. This protects not only your heart, but also your mind.
I know a lot of women have a hard time setting boundaries, Once they fall in love with someone, they want to meet all the demands of a man because they are afraid he will leave.But I can assure you that setting boundaries can have the opposite effect on a man who really wants to be with you.This will give him a sense of urgency and motivate him to pursue you.When it comes to dating, healthy boundaries are your shield from heartbreak and will tell you if he has the right reasons
5.Put yourself first
Last but not least, ladies, I must tell you that you are your own priority until the ring is put on your finger.Use this time to understand your own worth and learn how to enforce your standards through respectful communication.
Because only when you know what you deserve can you establish an equal relationship in your future relationships and marriage.
The truth is, when you're on a date with a purpose, the best time to tell him how you want to be treated, what behavior you'll accept, and what behavior you won't.By putting yourself first and showing him that you respect yourself, you can let him know who you really are and choose whether or not he likes you.The reality is that even if you are dating for a purpose, you have to remember that you are not married and therefore your boyfriend should not receive husband benefits.
As you can see, dating with a purpose isn't really fresh, and it's pretty simple. To be honest, follow these 5 steps on how to date purposefully to help your date go smoothly and your love will last.I hope this Christian dating advice will clear up your confusion about the purpose of dating and promote a successful relationship.